I chucked out the tin of Syrup Sponge Pudding.

After three years I was astonished to see it was out of date.

I have another one now so I don’t need to panic.

I like to have certain things around the house, just in case.

Ant Killer is one of those things.
I have not had a problem with ants for years now but should the moment arise I have the perfect solution.

I find ants fascinating in so many ways but mostly because they are just so busy all the time.
I don’t appreciate anything getting busy in my house without invitation.
When ants invade they just get everywhere.
Best to have the resources to deal with it.

I like to keep Bubble Mixture round the house too.
Even now, with the Proles as stringy and tall as they are, even now if you get Bubble Mixture out and blow bubbles in the back garden they go crazy for half an hour and collapse in giggling heaps.
Brilliant to take to any social gathering where there are children.

I also have a spare toddler toilet seat, just in case of visitors.

Of course these things serve some kind of practical purpose.

I can imagine using the Ant Killer, in fact I do sometimes idly wonder why the ants don’t seem interested in my house any more, since the deterrent was put in place.
I mean, perhaps they know?
Anyway, I have imagined the ants penetrating the defences of the house and have selected a child proof, cat proof gel within a plastic container that only ant sized things can get at.

The Bubble Mixture is something I replace a lot in my house.
Whenever I go to a wedding or similar social engagement I take some along.
I am not so good in crowds these days and my small talk has always been shocking.
If it all gets too much I just go and blow bubbles.
Also, if I am enjoying myself I can crack out the bubbles and give them to the Proles and I can get back to the party.

The spare toddler toilet seat has never been used.
I am not sure it ever will but anyone who has experienced the awful moment when their child ‘falls in’ to a strange toilet will understand why I keep it handy.

Prole2 used to spend an enormous amount of time on the toilet, usually with monumental results.

He only fell in three times but each of those was traumatic.

I say ‘only’.

Three times.

He fell in to the toilet three times.

Add that to the times the Proles have inadvertently taken off their clothes, folded them up and dropped them in the toilet instead of the laundry and you have the reason I am little twitchy around the toilet mantra “If it’s yellow let it mellow, if it’s brown flush it down” which they brought home from school on an environmental day.

Seeing Prole1 throw his trousers into the toilet once I yelled out to him to stop.
Prole1 looked at me.
Prole1 didn’t understand.
Prole1 panicked and flushed the toilet.

Fishing a pair of jeans out of the U bend is a great leveller.

The Syrup Sponge Pudding is different.

I have always had a tin of syrup sponge pudding in the cupboard.

I keep custard too but the custard actually gets used.
On a good week we make Apple Crumble together.
We used to do it a lot but took a bit of a break.

Prole1 used to eat nothing but crumble, no fruit, no custard.
Prole2 would eat nothing but custard, no fruit, no crumble.

They would both insist on having everything in their bowls of course, ‘In case we hurt your feelings’ as Prole1 put it.

After some months of throwing it all away I did not feel the ‘family bonding’ was enough of a plus on it’s own.

We are back having crumble again and I do like it, cooking together and eating together.
So the custard does get used.

The Syrup Sponges I have had over the years more often than not get eaten at some point, usually just before or just after their sell by date.
The sell by date on those things is years long as well.
They just sit there and watch you get old with them.
Having a tin of Syrup Sponge Pudding can be a long relationship.
I don’t eat them often.

I have a funny relationship with tinned Syrup Sponge.

I think I like it.

Sometimes I will sit there and just think about it.

I think about Syrup Sponge pudding I have had in the past, with custard or without.

I have a great fondness for Syrup Sponge Pudding, for the memory of Syrup Sponge Pudding.

I like to have one near, just in case.

But getting it out is a real pain.

It takes ages to warm up, it’s always longer than I imagine.

Then there is the tension that revolves around getting it out, open it too soon and it won’t be hot, open it too late and the pressure is all too much and it goes everywhere.
You have to wrap it in a towel just in case.

And if I am honest I never enjoy it as much as I think i will.

The trouble with tins I suppose.

But every now and then I just have the urge to have Syrup Sponge Pudding so I always have a tin in the cupboard.

More often than not I get to the cupboard and look at the tin and realise I just can’t be bothered.

It is almost like the thought of it, the memory of it is so great that I can’t quite bring myself to not have it in the cupboard.

Perhaps I think about it too much.

I think I will always keep one around though, I think it is good to keep some traditions going, and some things are reassuring to have around, even if they never get used.

It’s like being in your forties and keeping a condom in your wallet.

Only in pudding form.