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Tonight we had a babysitter in so I could go to a meeting in the Town Council Offices.
Before dinner we had a long team meeting and the Proles were sent away to think about what they might like to do when the babysitter arrived.

The Babysitter herself was Prole2’s rather marvellous key worker from when he attended nursery.
I was a little overwhelmed at getting a professional in.
I always imagined that at this point in life I would somehow just be in contact with a network of teenagers who would take it in turns to come round once a week whilst I went off and did other things. Something adults do. Dinner parties, Salsa dancing, the Masons, I don’t know, something.
Where are they all? The teenagers? I have not seen one for ages.
Anyhow it was great that she could come round at short notice (and even volunteered) and the Proles were all a quiver before she arrived.

At dinner Prole2 ate an entire plate of pasta but left his sausage roll.
Prole1 ate three sausage rolls and left his pasta.
(Later, just before bed, Prole2 ate the last of the pasta and Prole1 finished the last sausage roll, a balanced meal, half in one boy, the other half in the other boy.)

Prole2: I need to do a show.

I have seen Prole2’s ‘shows’ in the past.
His version of the ‘look at my bottom’ song will live with me forever.
Especially as he was doing it at a Christmas party.
To two women sitting on a sofa across the room from me.

Me: Ok, what do you want to do?

Prole2: Puppets.

Me: Ok

Prole2: A Christmas story.

Me: Ok….why Christmas?

Prole2: I have an elf.

Me: True, true….

Prole2: I need a theatre thing.

Me: Ok, I think there is one in the shed.

I have a puppet theatre in the shed.

I used to work in theatre.

It’s only a small one.

Don’t judge me.

Prole1: Do you want to borrow my crocodile puppet?

Prole2: YES!!! Yes. Yes.

Me: What story will you tell?

Prole2: Three Billy goats. Only with a crocodile instead of a troll.

Me: Nice.

Prole1: You could do the Gingerbread man but instead of a fox you could have a crocodile.

Prole2: YES! Or I could do Goldilocks, I can get my  three bears toys, cuddly ones, and do ‘Crocodile and the Three Bears’ and he could eat them and all stuff.

Me: I would pay money to see that.

Prole1: I want to watch it.

Prole2: I need to make tickets, and you start the show when I do thumbs up and it will have a break for drink and apple slices.

Me: Sounds good. Do you want to do this now or get it ready when she arrives?

Prole2: When she arrives. It’s going to be FUNNY!

Her arrival was a little subdued with both Proles suddenly going quiet and staring at the floor.

I suggested that perhaps the Proles might have an exciting plan to reveal when I left.

Prole1 remembered he could talk and was just kicking into gear as I left.

The meeting was a washout.
The door to the Council Offices was locked and I found myself on the pavement with two artists.
We went for a drink, where I tried and failed to not talk about work, and then I went home again.

When I got in a film was just finishing on the telly.

After I had thanked the over qualified babysitter I went back into the living room.

Me: Did you do the show?

Prole2: No, we watched Laurel and Hardy and then a film.

Me: Oh…fair enough.

A short pause and then Prole1 bursts into floods of tears.

Prole1: I didn’t give her a cuddle goodbye…..!

Prole2 stared at him for a moment and then gently began sobbing and collapsed on the floor.

Prole2: Me either….

Later they calmed down and as they were finishing each other’s dinner Prole2 looked up.

Prole2: If she comes again I will do the show.

Me: That would be nice. What story will you tell?

Prole2: You Know. The one. Goldi-crocs and the Three Bears.

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