Prole2 went to a football party today.

The invite asked for football kit and trainers.
Be in the leisure centre at 2 and play football for an hour, then a birthday tea in the cafe.
We don’t have a football kit in the house.
Football is not a part of my life really.
I don’t mind football.
Some of my best friends like football.
We just don’t talk about it.
I last watched a football match in 1997.
If Prole2 was under prepared for the party his discomfort was nothing compared to mine.

Prole2: I don’t want to play football.

Me: It will be fun. You will love it.

Prole2: I don’t know how to play football.

Me: It’s ok, they will teach you.

Prole2: Do you love it?

Me: Pardon?

Prole2: Do you love football?

Me: Well I don’t get a chance to play much any more….

Prole2: Did you play when you were at school?

Me: Yes, yes I did. Everyone did.

Prole2: Were you good?

Me: At school? Yes.

Prole2: No, at football.

He appeared to be on to me. I found myself stalling and starting to stammer. this always happens when men discuss football  near me. It had never happened with an under seven before.

Me: Well, we played in the playground, not on a proper five aside…um..court…pitch…place like you will be playing today. It’s like a pitch but inside, with a hard floor.

Prole2: What are the rules of football?

Me: Welll….there are two teams and each team has a goal and you have to get the ball into the goal.

Prole2: Then what?

Me: Then your team gets a goal.

Prole2: Another one?

Me: No, each team only has one goal….

Prole2: So how do they win if they both have one goal each.

Me: Well they score a goal if they get the ball in the other goal.

Prole2: What?

Me: They will teach you all this at the party.

Prole2: I don’t think I want to go to the party.

Me: There will be cake.

Prole2: OK. I will go.

After the party we sat in the car.

Me: Was it good?

Prole2: Yes, the man said I made an astonishing pass. Can we do it again?

Me: You can, you can if you want.

Prole2: Can I have a football kit?

Me: One step at a time….