Me: What did you do at school today?

Prole2: Nothing.

Prole1: I did something.

Prole 2: I did something too!

Me: What did you do?

Prole1:Well we started….

Prole2: I had LUNCH!

Me: Right, lunch, I know you have that at…


Me: umm…that’s nice.

Prole2: I ATE IT!

Me: Yes

Prole1: I had some too.

Prole2: ALL! I ATE IT ALL! It had peas and sprouts and carrots and gravy and potatoes and peas and…peas and gravy on the…

At this point he leans forward and grabs the side of my head. He puls me really close and hisses wetly into my ear.

Prole2: Meat.

Prole2 is trying to save Prole1’s feelings on the subject of diet. Prole2 is omnivorous. He does not share his brothers high morals on the subject of vegetarianism.
He did once ask if he could eat nothing but cake, I feel that was not a moral question however.

Prole1: He is talking about meat again.

Me: Yes. Did you eat the christmas dinner too? What did you have.

Prole1: All that stuff he had and some wet stuff instead of the meat.

Prole2: AND…And those balls. You know, the black balls?

Me: The..the what sorry?

Prole2: The black balls you have. You know the ones? With roast? The ball-y things?

Me: The poorly what?

Prole2: The ball-y things with the white stuff in?

Me: Stuffing?

Prole2: Yes, with stuff in.

Prole1: No, he means stuffing.

Prole2: Oh. Yes. Stuffing. I had cake and custard for pudding.

Prole1: I had a biscuit.

Me: You had wet stuff and a biscuit for lunch? No fruit salad?

As far as I know, Prole1 has eaten fruit salad with every meal at school for the last three years.

Prole1: No. No fruit salad today.

Me: You should have complained.

Prole2: He did.

Prole1: I did! I said ‘I don’t want a biscuit in the shape of an angel, I want some fruit salad.’ They said ‘Prole1 it’s too many puddings to prepare’ and I said I only want one, a little bowl of fruit salad, and they said they would try harder for me in the future.

Me: The kitchen staff know your name?

Prole1: Oh Yes. They say things like ‘oh dear, here he comes’ and things like that. They even have my picture on the wall, in case there is a new person who does not recognise me.

Prole 2: They don’t have my picture on the wall.

Prole1: Nope, just mine.

Me: I’ll just bet they do.

Prole2: We learned about pollution.

Me: Oh, tell me about it.

Prole2: It’s like bogeys.

Me: Right…

Prole2: Yes, because if you have a bogey and you flick it, like THAT, it only looks like a little bit but if everybody flicked their bogeys then there would be all bogeys everywhere. You have to not flick them and tidy them up. Like pollution.

Me: Right…

Prole2: I dreamed of a house made of Pizza.

Me: Right….