Social media thank you message following the Proles joint birthday party:

“Thank you to everyone who were able to be at the party.
Some of you travelled a long way and I really appreciate it. To all of you who work to make that day happen each year, I could not do it alone so thank you very much.

Must apologise to all the parents who did not want their children to play the game where I slid cuddly toy monkeys down a tube which had to be hit with a bat by a small child.
Because of the simian nature of the targets I could not call it ‘splat the rat’ but it was not my intention to be offensive. 
I may have inadvertently referred to the game as ‘spank the monkey’ as a throw away remark to Prole2 but had no idea the Birthday boys would lead all the guests in a group chant every time someone took up the bat.

This seemed to cause some offence amongst some of the parents.

I can only apologise to everyone involved.

I have since disposed of the monkeys and will be taking the Proles bowling next year.”