I sent Prole2 upstairs to get Prole1 for dinner.

Loud thumping up the stairs from Prole2
Slight pause.
Distant sound of Prole2 screaming Prole1’s name disproportionately loudly.
This seems to go on for a long time.

Prole2 returns alone with lego car and red sequined cowboy hat on head.

Prole2: He’s dead. Yum Yum, sausages.

Prole2 sits down to dinner and begins to eat enthusiastically.

I go upstairs.

Prole1 is flat out on the bed. Prole1 sleeps on the top bunk. He certainly does look dead.

Me: Oi.

Prole1 does not move but his eyes flick open

Prole1: Yep?

Me: You ok?

Prole1: Bit fast. I think ok. Dogs and stuff.

Me: What?

Prole1: Can you get off me?

Me: I am not on you.

Prole1(sitting up): Wow it’s all funny. Funny looking. What lights are they?

Me: Put your glasses on?

Prole1 (staring at the ceiling): Oh yes, yes……that’s right. Yes.

He seems perfectly happy to stare at the artex.
He smiles broadly then slowly scowls.
I put his glasses over his nose. They are crooked.

Me: Can you straighten them up?

Slight pause.

Prole1: Yes I can.

Slight pause.

Me: Go on then.

Prole 1 slaps himself squarely in the face with his open palm.
Despite walloping himself quite hard he is still looking at the ceiling, he slowly turns to me.

Me: Can you remember your name?

Prole1: Yes.

Me: What is it?

Prole1: Pavement.

Me: Are you still asleep?

Prole1: Yes.

Me: Can you wake up please?

Prole1: Yes.

Slight pause.

Prole1: Hello Dad, you alright?

Me: I am fine, it’s dinner time, let’s tell you brother you are alive.

Prole1(as if nothing had happened): Ok.