This year we went on holiday.
I wanted to give them an experience, a different culture. something they would never forget.
But I also wanted a safety net, an option to push a panic button and be catapulted out of there if there were any problems.
I am a single parent.
I am a lone parent.
Both those phrases are loaded.
On balance they sort of mean the same thing but I feel a documentary about single parents would be different from one about lone parents.
Popular culture has ideas about both.
Richard Curtis rarely writes about single parents and the Daily Mail does not know what to say about lone parents.
Anyhow.
Dress the words up any way you like, I am on my own with two kids and I am buggered if I am heading for Goa or Beijing with a pair like the Proles.

I also wanted to be able to get there in a day and be sure they could eat at least something at each meal.
We have already been to Cardiff so that left one place.

Euro Disney.

Like an American Disney experience but with magique instead of magic and smelling faintly of cigarettes and booze.

The Proles were given spending money and spent 2 hours each day trying to decide what to buy.
I know there is a certain amount of levity in what I write but I am fairly serious when I say we averaged 2 hours a day in gift shops.
2 hours a day for a week without  actually spending any money until the last day.

We had a long discussion over cuddly Alien toys.

Prole1: Can I buy three of these?

Me: No you can only afford two.

Prole1: I don’t want two, it only works with three.

Me: Really?

Prole1: Yes. What if I use some of my own pocket money?

Me: That IS with using all your pocket money.

Prole1: What if you lend me some pocket money and I can pay you back when we get home?

Me: It would take about 27 weeks. That would mean you wouldn’t get any pocket money until next January.

Prole1 (counts on fingers for quite some time): 26 weeks?

Me: Well, I don’t know, next year anyhow.

Prole1: January?

Me: Yes

Prole1: What if I get a smaller one.

Me (trying really hard to make my maths quicker than his whilst watching Prole2 destroy a soft toy display just out of parental hissing range) ummm October.

Prole1: When in October?

Me(playing what I hope is a trump): After your Birthday.

Prole1: Well. I know you won’t buy it for my birthday because you want to get me something really good.

Me: Yes, something good and cheap.

Prole1 (laughing): You are funny.

Me: Yes….funny, funny.

Advertisements