I had not heard about the Coalition for Marriage before today but there were about 8 people handing out leaflets in Camborne. In the end I just kept one and sort of waved it like a security pass every time i got cornered but two of them caught me by the cash point.

There are many reasons why I will not be joining the Coalition for Marriage, this is just one of them:

 Nice Lady in Green tabard: Would you like a leaflet from the Coalition for Marriage?

 Me: No thanks, your friend just gave me one.

 Nice Lady in Green tabard: Oh, are you married?

 Me (looking at her friend): Ummm, no.

 Nice Lady in Green tabard: Do you have a partner?

 Me: No, my wife died.

 Nice Lady in Green tabard: You are a Widow?

 Me: Widower, yes.

 Nice Lady in Green tabard: Have you seen Truly Madly Deeply?

 Me: I’m sorry…?

 Nice Lady in Green tabard: Have you seen Truly Madly Deeply? It’s got that man in it.

Me (starting to wonder where this might be going): Alan Rickman?

 Nice Lady in Green tabard:Yes, he was good in Robin Hood wasn’t he?

 Me: Ummm, yes he was.

 Nice Lady in Green tabard: I loved the cello in that film, but i didn’t understand the bit with the pigeon.

 Me (feeling like I’m drowning in soup): Yes, yes, um, I have to go now.

 Nice Lady in Green tabard: What are you doing today?

 Me (backing away down the road): Oh you know, DIY and stuff.

 Nice Lady in Green tabard: Good for you! Never say die and all that!

 Me: Um. Yes.


But she was so nice, looked like she baked cakes for small children every day and had a laugh like a tiny waterfall. 

It would be like punching Mr Kiplings wife.

Mr Kipling’s strange, strange, strange wife.