Prole1: Can I buy this game here?

Sainsburys1: Yes I think so. Can he buy that game here?

Sainsburys2: Yes, he can buy it here but it’s upstairs in the cage. I’ll have to go but I can’t leave you.

Prole1: What cage?

Sainsburys1:Yes you can buy that here but it’s upstairs and she will have to go but she can’t leave.

Prole1: Oh

Short pause

Sainsburys2: I can go upstairs and get it but I can’t leave.

Short pause. There is some sort of contest of nerves going on but I don’t know the rules and I am not quite sure who is playing.

Sainsburys2: I will just call someone. I don’t know who has keys to the cage.

A phone call is made. Clearly this is something of an imposition in the part of Prole1 but the staff are rising to the challenge.

Me: Shall we pay?

Sainsburys1: I won’t ring it through just yet…because…well…(whispers) know…

Me (smiling): Yes

I didn’t know.

Prole1: How much is it?

Sainsburys1: Well you can’t pay for it yet but in a minute you can. Where is your money?

Prole1: Here you are…ten…twenty…

Sainsburys1: Oh. Is that Scottish?

Prole1: Yes it’s Scottish.

Sainsburys1: Is that Scottish money?

Sainsburys2: Is that Scottish money?

Prole1: Yes, it’s…

Sainsburys1: That’s Scottish money. Do we take Scottish?

Sainsburys2; Clydesdale’s bank? That’s Scottish. I am not sure if we take Scottish money.

Prole1: Pardon?

Prole2: I need a wee.

Sainsburys2: I know we DO take Scottish money but there is one we don’t take and I think that one is Scottish money we don’t.

Prole1: Pardon?

Sainsburys2: Let me call the cash office.

Sainsburys1: Oh. Here is your game.

Teenage assistant arrives with box.

Sainsburys2: Thanks, can you do meat? I have to make another phone call. To the cash office. For this gentleman.

She nods at me in a manner which calls into question the rights of the individual to have children before taking a written test.

Teenage boy: I can do meat.

Prole2: I need a wee.

Sainsburys2: Good. I was going to do meat but now I am doing this.

She looks at me and half closes her eyes and tightens her lips. 
I think it was a smile.
I hope it was a smile.
She dials.
A Pause.

Sainsburys2 (to me): This won’t take a minute.

Two minutes and twenty three seconds later.

Sainsburys2 (doing the thing with her eyes and mouth again): Just waiting for someone to get back to me.

Prole2: I need a wee.

Me: Shall I pay by card?


Sainsburys1: Yes, perhaps that’s best.