Questions have been asked in our house lately.
They are learning about human development at school, a good friend of ours is pregnant and I realized that I might have to have ‘the talk’ with Prole1.

I have been aware this would be coming at some point and had prepared by purchasing the Usborne Book ‘Where babies Come From” a while ago when it was in the sale.
I put it in the bookshelf and forgot about it until this week when I pulled it out and showed it to Prole1

Prole1: I have read it.

Me: Really?

Prole1: Yes, ages ago and I think I learned a lot from that book. Some things that even grown ups don’t know.

I have to admit I had not actually read the whole of the Usborne Book “Where Babies Come From”. I decided to proceed with some caution.

Me: What sort of things?

Prole1: Well did you know babies don’t come out of belly buttons?

Me: Yes, I had heard that.

Prole1: I was told they did. They don’t though.

Me (trying to remember if I had been the perpetrator of this untruth at some point in the past) No, they don’t. Whoever told you that was wrong weren’t they? Anything else?

Prole1: Babies are not actually in ladies tummies. They are in another place with a name.

Me: What sort of name?

Prole1: Can’t remember. Udon or something.

Me (totally lost) I see. Sounds like a good book, shall we read it together again?

Prole1 (flicking through Usborne Book “Where Babies Come From” with unexpected ease) Yes, look, this is may favorite bit, the sperms race. It’s really good fun.

Me (not really knowing what to say) Yes, it is fun. I mean. Um. The pictures are fun.

Prole2: Can I see the pictures?

Me: Ummm. Hello. Yes look at the pictures.

Prole2: Are those fish?

Me: No….

Prole1: And men use their pennies.

Short silence.
I am looking for clues in the book.
I give up.

Me: Their pennies?

Prole1: Yes. Pennies. You know, pennies?

Prole2: Where are the pennies?

Longer silence. Prole2 has a money fixation at the moment and clearly was hoping to add to his stash. My eyes ached from looking at the page and I wondered why I had started this and if we could play lego instead. Then it came to me. Slow dawning of realization.

Me: Ummmm. You mean Penis?

Prole1: Penis? Nor Pennies? But….

Slow dawning of realization for Prole1

Prole1:…..but….that’s another word for….willy.

Me: Yes, yes it is.

Prole1: Oh…..

Prole2: What willy?

Me: Ummmmm….

Advertisements